It’s not magic, but it’s also Not Therapy 🔮
🌈 Before we dive in…Our New Parent Guide
If you haven’t heard of Speaking of Teens, run (don’t walk) to join parent of former troubled teen Ann Coleman’s active online community of parents! Colin and I hosted two online parent support groups for their parent community over the last three weeks, including one where we gave our classic Four Pillars of Transition talk, and we received some glowing reviews from the parents who attended 😍
She also had me as a guest on her podcast last week! I share some new stories from more recent clients, so give it a listen 😊
Client Success Stories 🌟 “Not Therapy” is Actually Changing Lives (For Real, At Home)
If you’ve read any of our infamous “former troubled teen” blog posts, you’ve heard countless stories of how we here at Not Therapy put our parents through the wringer with our various mental health diagnoses, social anxiety, substance abuse, and straight up refusal to let them parent us.
If you’re the parent of a teen or young adult, you know the rollercoaster ride of helping them find their footing. Maybe you’ve explored the “troubled teen industry” or looked into treatment programs that promise a fresh start. Maybe you’ve even sent your child to one of these programs.
🔥 Here’s our hot take: Residential treatment and wilderness therapy programs can be a good option in many cases. They can be the right fit when a teen or young adult needs a break from a toxic home environment, when the family needs time apart to heal, when everyone needs to learn coping skills quickly, etc. Young people can experience a relatively quick transformation when they buy into a treatment program.
🔥 In fact, some of our most successful clients went to treatment programs because we worked with them immediately afterward to ensure a smooth transition home or to college.
🔥 However, residential treatment programs can fall short when it comes to lasting, real-world results IF they don’t support their alumni properly afterward.
Colin and I experienced meaningful transformations ourselves in programs. BUT we never would have succeeded if it weren’t for us accidentally getting the type of support after leaving treatment that we needed all along. And despite having our own mental health diagnoses, what we needed all along wasn’t more therapy.
When Colin and I met, we realized we had both stumbled upon a formula for success in our 20s where many of our friends - who later committed suicide, died of an overdose, or ended up in prison - hadn’t been so lucky.
Thus, Not Therapy was born 💫
And holy sh*t, it’s been a YEAR! Since January 2024, Colin and I had the privilege of working alongside over thirty families who were at their wit’s end—feeling “stuck” in the cycle of stress, disconnection, and uncertainty. 😱 Spoiler alert: they’re not stuck anymore!
We’ve collected their testimonials, and we’ve distilled what’s been working for us as your friendly neighborhood troubled teen (and young adult) coaches.
And since we’re famously humble, we’re sharing these wins with you!
In just our first year in business, we have genuinely seen that what we’re doing at Not Therapy is redefining what long-term success looks like for young people and their families, whether they’ve been to wilderness programs and residential treatment or not.
“But Hayley and Colin - how are you doing it??” — someone reading this, we hope 🤞
Connection Is Key 🔑 (Not a Clipboard and 45 Minutes)
Traditional therapy and treatment centers often miss the mark because they focus on teens or young adults in isolation without bridging the gap between parents and kids. With Not Therapy, Colin and I decided to flip the script. We don’t just “talk at” clients; we connect — building relationships that resonate because they’re real, relatable, and rooted in lived experience.
Take it from one parent:
“Colin’s personal experience as a self-admitted troubled teen is what we believe allowed him to connect with our son in a way no other therapist or program has been able to do. If you feel lost and hopeless like we did, you must reach out to Colin and Hayley at Not Therapy.”
For one teen struggling to find her voice in college, I — hi it’s me, Hayley 👋 — became not just a coach but a mentor who genuinely understood.
“Hayley just knew how to help me figure out the answer with an approach I never would have expected. She’s super real and non-judgmental and understands what it’s like to be a young woman with potential but also obstacles.”
Growth at Home 🏡 (Not in a Controlled Bubble)
What happens after a wilderness program or treatment center? Often, we kids return home and slide back into old habits because the controlled environment doesn’t teach us how to navigate our environment. And no, home visits aren’t exactly the most realistic way to see what things will actually be like for us at home. Not Therapy focuses on equipping clients with the tools to grow where they’re planted — at home, in school, in relationships.
One family shared how working with us shifted their dynamic entirely:
“When there are tense times, our teen is pulling away from us as parents, but he still talks and texts Hayley. And the load of not being the logistics and executive functioning person is a big weight off of our shoulders. It lets us connect more with our son.”
Real Wins 🏆 Not Just “Resolutions”
When we say “success,” we mean goals achieved, confidence boosted, and relationships restored. Like Colin helping a young man build a portfolio for art school and giving him the courage to apply. Or me (Hayley) guiding a college student from “completely lost” to making supportive friends and becoming her “own biggest cheerleader” — my client Adara’s words, not mine.
And for one family, the transformation wasn’t just in their teen but in their entire outlook:
“Colin has helped me keep the big picture in mind, view my son as a whole imperfect person who is working hard, and turn what could be escalating situations into win-wins for all. We are on a good path forward thanks to Colin.”
Why This Works. Hint: It’s Not Magic 🔮
Our secret? 🥁 Drumroll please 🥁 ……
We believe in meeting people where they are — literally (at home) and figuratively (where they’re at on their journey). We bring a mix of empathy, tough love, and action-oriented coaching that empowers teens and young adults to take ownership of their lives. And we don’t leave parents out in the cold; they’re part of the journey too.
As one mom puts it:
“Not Therapy was fantastic from the beginning. The home visit was very helpful to get to know not just our son but the whole family and our unique dynamic. Colin was patient and set realistic goals, which he helped our son break into manageable steps. We’re so grateful Colin helped our son become ready for college.” — Christine, mother of 19 yr old
“Not Therapy was fantastic from the beginning. The home visit was very helpful to get to know not just our son but the whole family and our unique dynamic. Colin was patient and set realistic goals, which he helped our son break into manageable steps. We’re so grateful Colin helped our son become ready for college.”
The Bottom Line👇
We’re not here to throw shade at therapy or treatment programs —they have their place, of course! But if you’re looking for something that actually sticks when your teen comes home, we have seen — from our clients’ progress and their families’ satisfaction — then Not Therapy is it. Because the real world doesn’t come with a controlled environment or someone holding your hand 24/7. Our clients learn to thrive in their world, not escape from it.
If you’ve ever thought, “We’ve tried everything, and nothing works,” let these stories be your proof: there’s hope. Whether it’s building emotional resilience, reconnecting as a family, or helping a young adult step into their full potential, we’re here to make “life-changing” feel less dramatic and more doable.
And now……our vibes this week🔮
📚 What we’re reading
It wasn’t you. it was your parents, nyt
The best gossip spreads in invisible ink, bustle
AI friendships claim to cure loneliness. some are ending in suicide, washington post
🎶 What we’re listening to
Understanding and supporting your “troubled teen” to help them thrive, speaking of teens
💡 One last thought
THANKS FOR READING!
If you found this valuable, this is your sign✌️ to send this to parents or young people who can relate to the feelings we’re having this week so we can make sure they know they’re not alone. Sharing is caring 😎
We’re in this to collaborate and support. Please feel free to reach out to us:
If you’re a parent who has a child in treatment, we’re happy to answer any of your burning questions and share our experience in treatment and with transitioning out!
If you’re passionate about changing the narrative in the therapeutic program industry.