When going back to treatment isn't depressing ☀️🌴
🌈 Before we dive in…
We have another podcast interview coming in hot!! This time, Joanna Lilley of Lilley Consulting interviews me on her podcast, Success is Subjective, about my time in residential treatment. Shout out to Joanna for being an excellent interviewer - we def got real in this one. Thanks for having me Joanna!!
“ Pacific Quest had the pleasure of hosting Hayley and Colin for a two-day program visit. During their time with us, they connected deeply with both our staff and students, leading multiple group sessions for our adolescent and young adult participants. Their insightful feedback was particularly invaluable, offering guidance on how we can enhance our support for students both during and after treatment, ensuring a smooth and successful transition back to everyday life after the transformative experience of our program. We are incredibly grateful for their visit and for helping us continue to drive best practices for our students. ”
-Ryan Walton, Director of Outreach, PQ
Colin and I were in Hawaii earlier this month for work. Honestly, such a flex telling people “I’ll be in Hawaii for work.” Dream job.
We first want to give a huge shout-out to the Pacific Quest team for inviting us to Hawaii to tour and lead groups at their adolescent and young adult programs.
As I’m sure you can imagine, given the nature of what we write in this newsletter, it’s not every week that we’re invited to visit programs for the sole purpose of getting our feedback. We learned how to give feedback from your programs…so we don’t hold back 😅 All we want to do is help young people succeed after treatment, and we are so excited that Pacific Quest is proactively embracing perspectives from program alumni.
Even though neither Colin nor I went to PQ, we have a handful of people close to us who went through their adolescent program in the early 2010s. One of the things we were most excited to see is how adaptable and open they seem to be to change their program. Attending PQ now is worlds away from what it was like 15 years ago, not that how the program used to function was “bad” or anything. We just feel the strong connection to their mission has empowered them to integrate new information and adapt to the changing landscape of residential treatment in a way that seems to benefit the young people attending their program.
Without going into all the details, the most surprising thing about my experience at PQ was that, after spending a full day at the adolescent program, interacting with the teens, and running a few groups, I didn’t leave feeling depressed.
I have noticed that when I visit even the most progressive treatment since starting Not Therapy, I leave feeling low energy and like I need to gtfo. It’s not because these treatment centers are doing anything wrong per se. For me, it just brings up that visceral feeling of lacking agency, doing exhausting therapeutic work, witnessing and helping my peers do exhausting therapeutic work, and feeling trapped. Like when I was on the final phase at my residential treatment center, I had hope for myself and could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I also accepted that I’d be low-key depressed until I graduated, given the nature of that environment.
There was an intangible feeling of liveliness and hope at PQ. I left feeling excited for the young people there instead of sorry for them.
Also, shout out to the PQ team we had dinner with. What a refreshing conversation with industry professionals who are open to what we are trying to say. I felt that PQ took us seriously and was down to try new things. As alumni of wilderness and residential treatment, having our feedback listened to, taken seriously, and potentially implemented is maybe the most healing thing I’ve felt from interacting with programs so far. Just putting that out there for any programs that are thinking about increasing their engagement with their alumni. It feels like a win-win to me.
• • • • •
In our opinion, one easy way for programs to increase engagement with their alumni AND increase the chances of a successful transition home is to put it out there to all alumni that their program is looking to connect recent graduates to a former program participant who lives in their city.
Don’t overthink it. Just ask alumni if they’re willing to have their phone number shared with a recent/upcoming graduate or if they’re willing to text someone when they return home. Don’t try to filter for alumni that had overall positive vs. overall negative experiences. It’s not about talking shit about the program. It’s about connecting with a younger version of themselves and offering them hope that life will eventually return to normal. It’s about showing them that going to the program doesn’t have to hold them back, and they have the opportunity to share their authentic experience.
It will be healing for alumni, and it’s extremely helpful for recent grads. I’m sure programs have more alumni than they realize doing badass things with their lives; the girls from my program, who I still consider some of my best friends, are absolutely killing it.
It’s not a big ask to text someone and meet up for coffee. People who want to help will naturally opt-in. I think many girls from my programs would enjoy the opportunity to help another girl who has just graduated, even if they didn’t love their treatment experience.
Food for thought💡
And now……our vibes this week🔮
📚 What we’re reading
There’s a core reason teens are anxious - and it’s not phones, slate
Teenager sues Meta over ‘addictive’ Instagram features, washington post
🎶 What we’re listening to
💡 One last thought
THANKS FOR READING!
If you found this valuable, this is your sign✌️ to send this to parents or young people who can relate to the feelings we’re having this week so we can make sure they know they’re not alone. Sharing is caring 😎
We’re in this to collaborate and support. Please feel free to reach out to us:
If you’re a parent who has a child in treatment, we’re happy to answer any of your burning questions and share our experience in treatment and with transitioning out!
If you’re passionate about changing the narrative in the therapeutic program industry.